Delayed Success

Rejected! Rejected! Now you just got rejected! R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D.. Rejected!!! - Zoey 101


    Remember how I mulled over taking the exam in Heraldo Filipino, DLSU-D's official publication, on my previous posts? Well, I spent 5 hours working my ass off writing six feature articles, answering grammar and personality tests last Thursday. Skipped lunch, went through the heavy pouring rain with no umbrella then went straight to my first class. After 3 hours, my friend, Jesti, got the immediate result of her exam, and yes, she passed. And as for me, nadda! I can't help but shed tears for some unexplained reason. Bragging aside, I really did expect that I would pass the exam for I think I did well somehow. But an hour passed, class dismissed, got home, still no text message from HF saying that I passed. Got over it for a second or two but it keeps slipping through my mind. "Bakit wala pa? Hindi ba ko nakapasa? Bakit ganoon?" Everytime my phone rings for a message, my heart literally skips a beat, anticipating that it could be from HF. A day had passed,  Jesti was having second thoughts on whether to attend the panel interview or not. Of course, I don't want to be the reason to repress her. The most powerful encouragement that I had to offer was "Pag di mo tinuloy yan, magagalit ako sayo. Ano ka ba." And so she got through the panel and the devastating news was before me.. I didn't pass. I tried not to burst out in tears for I still have to focus on my Philippine Constitution quiz. After the quiz, out of the blue, Mr. Mazo fed us with his encouraging words of wisdom.

"Anything and everything you're suffering right now, it's temporary."

"There's a rainbow always after the rain."

Somehow, it eased the pain that I was feeling. Maybe HF isn't really for me and maybe I do deserve something a lot better as what my crush, Jojo, said. Went home and binge on my a pint of ice cream as I bawl   and utter "Bakit ganoon? Yun na nga lang yung gusto ko, hindi pa ipabalato sa 'kin." Of course, my roommate, Leobhel , had to listen to everything I say and correspond it with advice that'll make me feel better. My bestfriend, Arvie, called and did the same thing. She actually told me a story about her professor and relate it to what I'm feeling, pride is equal to suffering. Amidst everything I felt, it made me realize that I'm blessed to have these people around me who really cares. Another enlivening thought has captured my attention as I was reading Steph Ayson and AJ Perez love story on Candy mag's September issue..

"Thus, we are never left empty-handed. In fact, we have more to be thankful for, like being on the receiving end of God's many blessings. For those of us who have yet to be called back, life has not reached its end."

And Eunice, my shook, shared Toni Gonzaga's favorite quotation.

"It's not failure. It's just delayed success."


I'm now feeling a lot better. I wouldn't let my failure to get through HF uninspire me and stop expressing myself through writing. I'll just take this as an experience that'll make me a better writer as I've always want to be.