Sunday, February 23, 2014

From me, To me,

I just remembered that I wrote a letter to my 40-year old self a month ago. Wrote it in this blog but never published it. No, I won't be publishing it. He he. I wonder what my 40-year old self would be like. Hmm. Well I hope I'd be a Mom then to a three beautiful children and three dogs (2 shih tzu, 1 pom pom), oh and be a wife to a husband who looks like Ian Somerhalder (okay, maybe not). I never finished that letter, for some reason, it felt weird writing my future me a letter. It's as if I'm a pregnant woman talking to my baby in my tummy. I dunno, it's just so weird. So now, I'd give writing letter to my present self a go. Let's see if it would be weird as my last written letter.


Dear self, 

Hi! Okay, now it's getting weird. Haha. I'm writing this letter on a Sunday evening and I spent the entire day watching PewDiePie's gaming videos. Such a waste of time, I know. Now, let's get down to beezzwax. You know, self, you've gone a long way. And I'm proud of you for that. Few years back, finishing college was just a dream. And now it's so surreal that you're finally getting your ass out of school, not because you got kicked out from it, but because you finished it. Give yourself a pat on the back, hun. Also, you've gained a lot of friends. Wow. You were once "that invisible girl" in elementary who talks to no one but herself. You now have friends from high school, from church, from camps, from internship, from college, from dorm, from friends of friends, and you have 3 digit followers on Twitter and Instagram! Woah. You can now say to your 9-year old self, "It does get better."

Over the years, you've changed a lot. Two years ago, you hate dogs, just the thought of having one scares you. Now, you are a mum to a tiny shih tzu. During your 1st year in college, you'd cry deep inside whenever you're asked to draw something. Now, I see sketches of landscapes and silhouette woman face on your bedroom wall. You've finally decided to dye your hair, but then you died along with it. You just hate it, don't you? Well, it's better than having a pixie cut, right? Yea, I thought so, too.

I'm glad to say that you're not one of those teenagers who have patapon life. You have no history of Rachel gone wild, never been drunk, never tried to smoke, and didn't get pregnant like any other pa-cool kids. You've lived up to the contrary of "Just because they're doing it, I should too." But I think once in a while, you just have to try new things. Just this once, go out of your comfort zone. Be free to do anything you never thought you could. I'm telling you this because I know you can handle yourself well in the midst of mishap. Have the guts to just be free. You've been a dormer for three years, yet you never had the wild dormer life. Whut a waste. Anyhoo, that's you. Huh, I mean that's us.

Self, you've come across too many people in your life who have influenced you massively. And these people somehow dictate how you live your life today. I say NO. Start living your life the way you want it to be, and not how you want the people around you wants you to. It's your life anyway. It's okay to be stupid once in a while. It's okay to stumble. It's fine to be with the wrong people at the wrong place and at the wrong time. It's okay! Don't hold up. Just be YOU. Know what you want and who you want to be. Be SOMEBODY! Shine God's light in everything you do. And just be HAPPY.

Mmkay? I love you, self.

Yours truly,
YOU

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