My thoughts are all jumbled up these past few weeks. Struggling over my grade in Philippine Constitution, keeping my grades on the right track, setting my priorities, trying not to be distracted by something or someone, dealing with my parents, and trying to let myself do something worth the risk.
I was trying to get grades this semester not lower than 2.75 (4 being the highest and 1 being the lowest), for the reason that I just want to make my parents see that everything they've worked for is coming to a good end. And yes, I want them to be proud of me.. again. Since I never picked any of their desired courses for me, they think that the life pattern I chose for myself wouldn't lead me to something I and they could be proud of. Unfortunately, I just broke my pledge. Humiliatingly, I got 1.00 in Philippine Constitution, a course that'll make you bump your head on the wall and cry a river of blood. Thus, after seeing my grade and knowing I passed, I felt so relieved, the best relief I've ever had in my entire life and all I can say is "Thank you, Lord!" But looking back, it felt like I didn't try hard enough to achieve what I was dying to aim for.
"Mahirap magpalaki ng magulang" I heard my friend sang this line of a song. Turns out we children aren't always the one that has to be raised after all. Somehow, it's true, our parents can be inconsiderate at times. I've been convincing my Mom to allow me to go watch Peter Pan, play remake by Sam Concepcion, but she never gave me a chance to explain why I badly want to watch that play. Her condition was I had to be with my Dad, but I want to watch that play with my friends and it's not like I'm 12 that has to have adult supervision all the time. I can still remember my Dad told me that he'll buy me tickets himself, but with Mom did all the talking, my plan of seeing my ultimate celebrity crush onstage suddenly fade away. But of course, I know they're only being protective of me and that I understand.
Writing newspaper articles was one of the reasons why I loved highschool. Seeing your work be put into something people could cultivate from is something I can say I'm proud of. It served as my training ground to be an efficient writer, and I'm forever grateful to my mentor/teacher/friend, Sir BJ, for opening my mind into the world of journalism. And as I enter my college life, I never left my desire to write and share what I have in mind. Heraldo Filipino, DLSU-D's school publication, was cutting right through me. I had all the time I need to get an exam but I refused to because of one major reason.. rejection. I hate rejection more than I hate having period every month. I hate rejection more than anything. And now, I have the chance to prove myself and to not let down the people who believed in me, I just hope and pray that I'll make it. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and taking a leap of faith.
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