The Birth Of Venus

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Monday, November 10, 2014

Just when I thought I was just catching up with Awkward episodes, it made me reflect on how I'm dealing with rejections I got over the past months. Jenna, in the 14th episode of season 4, found out that she didn't got in to SCU. The university that Tamara and her made a college future together and where her Dad went to college. As every senior who applied in SCU got their acceptance letter through e-mail, Jenna got otherwise. It's one of those days when you got a devastating news that could change your future that'll need you to rewrite your plans and make new ones all over again. It sucks. And everyone around you judges you for your failures. It may be one of the shittiest days in your life.

"Sometimes, things don't work out the way you want no matter how badly you want them to. It doesn't matter if you work your ass off you give an amazing interview or you have an alum parent. You still get rejected, okay? And that's just the way it is, it happens to everyone and I'm sorry but I just can't help it." -Jenna

My thoughts exactly. When you get rejected for more than ten times in a job interview, it just keeps getting better! No matter how you pour yourself out to sell everything you got, if it's not meant to be, it won't happen. But you still goes after it because you badly want it and you just can't see yourself doing anything but that.

Conversation between Jenna and her favorite author (who graduated from SCU) Samantha Perry...

S: I know you're bummed you didn't get in to SCU. But here's the silver lining, all the pain you are feeling will feel you writing.

J: But how much pain does a writer supposed to take?

S: A lot. Being a professional writer is a freaking nightmare. It's filled with never-ending rejections. Only an insane person would pursue it. But guess what, I didn't have a choice. Telling stories is the only way I know how to make sense to the world around me. Don't you feel the same way?

Well, would you look at that. I'm writing because of the pain all those rejections brought. On a ride home from my recent job interview, I thought of a perfect blog post and I would title it 11 Times a Charm. I would write the journey to my eleven job interviews from different companies and the reasons why I thought I didn't get in. That would be make a loooooong blog post and I know it would be very painful. But hey, it got my writing.

Convo between Matty and Jenna...

J: Matty, I didn't get in to SCU.

M: Aww. I'm sorry. I think they got their answers out somewhere because they toss a coin. Come on. You even haven't heard from the best schools yet. And you know what? I really think you dodged the bullet.

J: Why?

M: Dude, have you seen their school mascot? It's a freakin' moth! How embarrassing is that?

And even through those shitty days, there will always be people who will cheer you up and keep you to move forward. I'm blessed that I have family and friends who can be my Matty McKibben.

"It was then that I realized rejection is easier to accept when you're honest with yourself about the reasons why." - Jenna

Finally, here's what a sophomore, who Jenna recently had New Year's midnight kiss session with, has to say about rejection.

"You know what, you can't let some dumb people on a college acceptance board have total control over your feelings. I've been told no more times that I can count, like pretty recently. So yea, you know, it sucks for a minute but then, I get a feeling that it'll all work out. I'm just not gonna stop going for the things I want, so you shouldn't either, okay?" - Owen

Okay. :)

Monday, November 3, 2014

Before I turn 20...

It's November? Wait, what? Did I hibernate the whole month of October? Time went swoooosh without even realizing. And before you knew it... I'm turning 20! I don't, I just, I can't. The big two zero gives me so much "Errrr you're no longer a teenager! Act your age!" feeling, and it gives me a little pressure. Notice how I changed my banner from 'MAGNETISM: A Driftless Journal of a Teenage Gypsy' to 'The Birth of Venus'? It's 'cause I realized that I'm no longer a teenager in a knick of time and I had to change my blog page banner before it's too late!!!!!!!! See how much pressure it gives me? It's too much. Too much.

But since I still have more or less 50 days before the celebration of my two decade existence, I still have the time to assess whether or not I ticked off everything from the so-called TEENAGE BUCKETLIST.

20 BEFORE 20

1. Have an epic kiss - x

Uh, are my parents reading this? If they are, then... "Nooooo way! Kiss? Na-ah!" If not, then I would say hmmm no. I haven't had the upside-down Spiderman kiss or prom night Troy & Gabriella kiss. Maybe it's within my definition of epic, and sadly I haven't had that yet.

2. Take a Road Trip - ✓

Check! I always go on road trips with church friends and cousins, but my last road trip was beyond amazing. We had no itinerary for 3 days, we just let our feet take us wherever. And the most awesome part is, I'm with the unexpected people who turned out to be the best people to go on road trips with. (Check my Cebu & Dumaguete blog posts!)

3. Try a Food You Can't Pronounce - ✓

I can't remember if I ate something that I can't pronounce, but I'm pretty sure that I have since I eat almost everything anyone makes me eat. But I think eating adobong pagong would count. I can pronounce it but never in a million years would I find myself eating adobong pagong, but I have.

4. Record a Cover Of Your Favorite Song And Post it On YouTube - ✓

Done! Love Is An Open Door was my favorite song at that time and I posted my own version of it along with my vlog. (starts at 3:39)

5. Go Skinny Dipping - x

Hehehehe. NO. -_-

6. Participate in a Flash Mob - x

I would love to!!!!!! Maybe sometime this month. Eh? Eh? *wink wink*

7. Fall in Love -- And Get Your Heart Broken - ✓

Yes! It was tragic. I fell in love with Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev (a.k.a. Damon & Elena) during Season 2 of The Vampire Diaries and got my heart broken when they broke up (in real life) one year ago. Still in the process of getting over. Bazinga. Haha. Of course, I have. And I didn't regret that I fell in love and got my heart broken. Because it was a pleasure getting my heart broken by him. Char.

8. Sleep Under the Stars For One Night - x

I haven't, but I love star gazing though. But I think my Mom wouldn't let me sleep outside during cold nights. I can hear her say, "Hindi pwede. Baka sipunin ka." Hahahaha #babyfeels

9. Pull a Fun All-Nighter - ✓

Pulling an all-nighter during college was both fun and not. Haha. Fun, 'cause you get to annoy everyone who's working on their shizz and make chika. Not, 'cause the thought of having an all-nighter means that you're cramming. But I did have just pure fun all-nighter. Picture me at 5:30am in the pool reminiscing my first years in college with my friends.

10. Go Electronics-Free For 24 Hours - ✓

Thanks to typhoon Glenda last July that left almost everyone in Luzon area without electricity for 3 days or more.

11. Vote - x

Heeheeee. Haven't gotten my voter's ID yet. Well, that I can't do before I turn 20 huh.

12. Have a Meaningful Conversation With A Stranger - ✓

Now that I think about it, actually I have. 3 months ago, I was in a room along with people I'm competing for a job position. There were four us, the two got interviewed first and there left me and a guy who's around 24-26 years old. There was the inevitable awkward silence at the first 5 minutes, until he asked me if I'm a fresh grad. It started from there, until he told me about his previous jobs, how his part at some commercial got cut off, the Stuart Edge in him as he do his social experiments and eventually gives me a life advice which I carry until now.

13. Get a Passport, And Take It Somewhere - ✓
Check. I got my passport in year 2010 and flew to Singapore the same year. And referring to blog posts below, I just recently came back from Dubai.

14. Learn To Play A Song On An Instrument - x

I tried! I grabbed my brother's guitar one morning, searched for tutorials on YouTube and I try to play 'Revelation Song'. It's not as easy as it looks. I always forget what finger goes where. I chickened out and never learned. I'll try to work on that.

15. Get A Job. Any Job - x
You don't think I'm working on that right now? Huh? You have no idea. But before I turn 20, getting a job is my main goal. Not just any job though. I mean, there's no such thing as "any job", as if you're belittling some other jobs. If I land on something that's worth my time and effort, I wouldn't say that "I just got this job. Eh. Any job would do anyway."

16. Write A Love Letter To Yourself. Open 10 Years Later. - ✓
Done! It's in this blog.. in my draft.

17. Learn To Have A Basic Conversation In A Foreign Language - x
I tried to learn basic Korean when I saw an English-Korean dictionary in our bazaar when I was in college. Well mostly, I made fun of how it was pronounced and never really got to learn and retain anything.

18. Dance In The Rain - ✓
Who doesn't?

19. Date Yourself - ✓
This is something I usually do. Not because I don't have friends (I do, believe me, I do) or I love being alone. It's really nice to just go out and be with no one but yourself. It's when you shut everything and everyone out for a bit and get to know your inner goddess (oh the Anastasia Steele reference). You can check my Instagram posts for when I enjoy my solitude.

20. Learn To Cook Your Favorite Meal - ✓
It's hard for someone like me to have a favorite meal since I love every food I get. But lately, I've noticed that my grilled cheese sandwich keeps getting better. When you don't have a bread toaster, work with your favorite kawali, spread generous amount of butter on two slices of bread, toast each sides for 30 secs., put the cheese in between and voila! Aced it!

Not bad. 12 out of 20. I didn't fail after all. But those 8 items left with x, needs to be worked out on. We'll see.

Monday, October 27, 2014

Rachel Goes to Dubai

Desert Safari

It's time to purposely be stuck in the middle of the desert! When my aunties booked Desert Safari, I didn't know if I'm excited or terrified for one reason... I'm afraid that I might puke in every corner of the the SUV. I have a low tolerance for car sickness. I once went to Baguio riding a bus and I filled 9 plastic bags of my barf. Not a good picture. I was excited because I'd get to be in the shoes of John Lloyd Cruz in his movie, Dubai, when he barfed on the sand after Desert Safari. Woohooo exciting.. eh?

We killed time at BurJuman as we wait for the vehicle that'll get us to the desert. I went piktyur piktyur by the fountain, went to Saks Fifth Avenue to find Christian Louboutin (ugggh the red soles tho!) Before we leave, I took two Dizinil tablets (counterpart of our Bonamine).. you know, just to be sure and have my family safe from my barf.

When I got out of the van, the sweet sweet smell of camel poop gave me a warm embrace. Mmm mmm! Few other tourists came, there were even two ladies who dressed up as belly dancers and I'm pretty sure they're not one of the performers.

The moment of truth... Dizinil really kicked in. I didn't feel any motion sickness, so as soon as I assessed myself, I took my camera out and filmed the entire ride. It was fun! The rush you get as you anticipate the drop from the mountain sand is just legit fun! And the driver was very impressive, it was as if he's nagpapayabang with how much reckless he is, but that's the fun of it. When we got to the camp, I immediately went to the top of a tall sand mountain (is that how it's called?) And define nakakapagod but as you see the sunset at the sand horizon... aaaah it's just breathtaking.

I thought the most exciting part of this trip would be me riding a camel. I take that back. That was scary and smelly. Haha. But I'm glad that I got to tick that off from my bucketlist. Half past six, we find seats, got a 20secs. henna tattoo, watched a spinning guy with a massive skirt, got bored with the firedance because Boracay's firedancers are still the best, and debated with myself if the belly dancer was a woman or a transgender. Had Arabic food for dinner and Pakistani for driver. Heehee. Dozed off on the way home. Thanks Dizinil.