The Beauty of Singlehood

“You have your whole life to be taken. So, the question is, why are you rushing into it?”

I heard someone say this in a podcast and it hit me.

As we live in a society that dictates success as following this timeline: Get a stable job by your early 20s, get married and have kids by 25. Titos and Titas common spiel during family gatherings for their nephew and nieces in their mid-20s to early thirties would be “Kailan ka ikakasal?” or “Tumatanda ka na. Kailangan mo na maghanap ng makakasama.”

Can we just simply say, “Tita, chill… I have my own timeline. Let me be” but in a subtle and more respectful way.   

So, to all the single ladies and gentlemen in the audience... let me share to you the beauty of singlehood.

You have your whole life to be a husband or a wife to someone, so take advantage of the time that you have as a single person. Don’t rush into it. Remember, if you’re going to say yes to someone, you better be saying yes to forever. And if you’re going to say I love you to someone, you better learn to love yourself first.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 it says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

If you read this verse, and ask yourself “Am I ready to love like this?” Surely, you will say no. Not at all. This is just way too perfect and unconditional way of loving someone. You will only understand what love is when you first understand you are loved like this… like how it is depicted in this verse… and the only person that can love with an unconditional and perfect love is God.

In turn, we could only properly love somebody if we understand how much God loves us.

There’s this “Already, Not Yet” concept in theology that we could apply in this topic of singlehood. 

We may say that I am already happy, I am already satisfied, I am already content with the love of God. But we know that there’s a not yet, but it’s coming. We know that God will fulfill His promise to me that it’s not good for a man to be alone and that he has reserved someone who is loving, kind and simply amazing who will fulfill all of my hopes and dreams in the future.

Now that we know and we’re immersed with the love of God, we should learn to love ourselves.

To my single friends, take this time to learn about yourself. Especially during this quarantine, we have more time to get to know ourselves better. Take the time to know what you like, what gets you mad, what gets you excited, what gets you scared. When you know these things, it would be a lot easier for a guy to pursue you. Or for guys, it would be a lot easier for girls to know you. If you know what you like, he or she will know what to give.

So, it boils down to having a better understanding of yourself that will affect your relationship that you’ll have in the future.

I don’t know about guys, but us girls, or some girls, including me, make a list of their ideal man or the perfect guy. And why not? There’s nothing wrong with that. But we tend to be so caught up with the perfect guy in our head… But have you asked yourself… am I the perfect girl?

The reality is, we’re never going to be perfect. But if we aim for perfection, we’ll be closer to that. So at this time of waiting, let’s not just sit and wait… let’s prepare and work to be the better version of us. So that even without the guy or the girl, you are already working on the relationship.

Also, while in the waiting, ask God what you specifically want. It says in James 4:2 “You have not because you ask not.” So go ahead and ask and you’ll be surprised how God responds.

And that’s the beauty of singlehood... knowing how to love all the way even if you’re only halfway.