Half a year and a lifetime to go...

I never thought I'd find myself writing here again. 

But it just feels right to go back to what sparked "the confession". 

We've been talking everyday and I knew it was going somewhere. I knew it was going in the right direction, but I was hesitant to dip my toes in the water. And so I prayed about it, I prayed about you, I prayed about us. That's when the topic of singlehood came about. I remembered a piece I wrote from our speech club, and thought of sharing that to you through this blog as I secretly hope that you would finally make a move. Mission accomplished. 

Our love story is just not the typical boy-meets-girl. It wasn't a "swipe right, it's a match!" kind of thing. But you did slid to my DMs (wink wink), and replying to your message was the best decision I made by far. But our love story is my favorite, and I can't wait to grow old with you as we tell our grandkids the story of how our love story began. 

First date? Uhmm.. day trip lang naman na balikan sa Guimaras with day tour of photoshoot, food trip, exploring, and to cap the day, a sunset with a dash of "I like you" and "I like you, too". Top that! 

With all the places we've gone to for the past months, Guimaras will always be my favorite. Not because of the place, but because of what transpired because of that trip. It's been six months since we hop on that early flight to Iloilo as friends and went back to Manila as lovers. 

I can't believe that it's already been six months. Tama nga yung sabi nila na "Time flies so fast when you're having fun". Because, it's true. Everyday you give me a reason to get up, live life and have fun. You always succeed in your goal to make me laugh and smile everyday. I just hope that I also give you that level of happiness that you effortlessly give me everyday. 

Six months of good morning messages filled with reassurance, love, and motivation to face the day with hope and faith. Six months of FaceTime calls filled with tawanan, tampuhan, iyakan, at lahat na ng emosyon. Six months of sharing each other's learnings and realizations. Six months of growing together in Christ. 

I'm beyond blessed that you're my partner, my best friend, my love. 

I'm excited for more months, years, decades, and a lifetime with you. 

Happy 6th month, my love. 

I love you. 

xx

Rachel

The Beauty of Singlehood

“You have your whole life to be taken. So, the question is, why are you rushing into it?”

I heard someone say this in a podcast and it hit me.

As we live in a society that dictates success as following this timeline: Get a stable job by your early 20s, get married and have kids by 25. Titos and Titas common spiel during family gatherings for their nephew and nieces in their mid-20s to early thirties would be “Kailan ka ikakasal?” or “Tumatanda ka na. Kailangan mo na maghanap ng makakasama.”

Can we just simply say, “Tita, chill… I have my own timeline. Let me be” but in a subtle and more respectful way.   

So, to all the single ladies and gentlemen in the audience... let me share to you the beauty of singlehood.

You have your whole life to be a husband or a wife to someone, so take advantage of the time that you have as a single person. Don’t rush into it. Remember, if you’re going to say yes to someone, you better be saying yes to forever. And if you’re going to say I love you to someone, you better learn to love yourself first.

In 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 it says “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

If you read this verse, and ask yourself “Am I ready to love like this?” Surely, you will say no. Not at all. This is just way too perfect and unconditional way of loving someone. You will only understand what love is when you first understand you are loved like this… like how it is depicted in this verse… and the only person that can love with an unconditional and perfect love is God.

In turn, we could only properly love somebody if we understand how much God loves us.

There’s this “Already, Not Yet” concept in theology that we could apply in this topic of singlehood. 

We may say that I am already happy, I am already satisfied, I am already content with the love of God. But we know that there’s a not yet, but it’s coming. We know that God will fulfill His promise to me that it’s not good for a man to be alone and that he has reserved someone who is loving, kind and simply amazing who will fulfill all of my hopes and dreams in the future.

Now that we know and we’re immersed with the love of God, we should learn to love ourselves.

To my single friends, take this time to learn about yourself. Especially during this quarantine, we have more time to get to know ourselves better. Take the time to know what you like, what gets you mad, what gets you excited, what gets you scared. When you know these things, it would be a lot easier for a guy to pursue you. Or for guys, it would be a lot easier for girls to know you. If you know what you like, he or she will know what to give.

So, it boils down to having a better understanding of yourself that will affect your relationship that you’ll have in the future.

I don’t know about guys, but us girls, or some girls, including me, make a list of their ideal man or the perfect guy. And why not? There’s nothing wrong with that. But we tend to be so caught up with the perfect guy in our head… But have you asked yourself… am I the perfect girl?

The reality is, we’re never going to be perfect. But if we aim for perfection, we’ll be closer to that. So at this time of waiting, let’s not just sit and wait… let’s prepare and work to be the better version of us. So that even without the guy or the girl, you are already working on the relationship.

Also, while in the waiting, ask God what you specifically want. It says in James 4:2 “You have not because you ask not.” So go ahead and ask and you’ll be surprised how God responds.

And that’s the beauty of singlehood... knowing how to love all the way even if you’re only halfway.

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